just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
