I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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