i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
