I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
