That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
