Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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