Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
do herpes really smell.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Mom said you looked used
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
