in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
