Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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