Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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