i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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