i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
