I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
