It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
