ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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