Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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