BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
