the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
