Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
never play flip cup with pint glasses
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
