somebody snuck up and got me drunk
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
