do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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