just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
