did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
