This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
