btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize