jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
