I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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