just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
