Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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