Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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