i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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