On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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