i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
