you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
