I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
