She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
