she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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