Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I came so hard my ears popped.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
