i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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