remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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