JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize