when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
