i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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