My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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