your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
