I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
two words...techno handjob
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
