A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
