Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
