her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
