): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
