I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize