worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
