Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
