Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
