omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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