Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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