You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
